so my first year of college is almost over. as glad as i am to be done with the school part, i'm going to miss everyone at carthage. for those of you who don't know, i joined a sorority called Pi Theta, and it's really fun. i've met so many great people. and i got to wear my prom dress i wore senior year again to formal! god i love that dress...

this summer, i'll be working at ulta again, but i'll probably have to take on a second job. i'm thinking maybe the new brunswick zone on randall? or if anybody has any other suggestions, that'd be cool too. and i'm going to the bahamas in july! my dad is an awesome poker player, and he won this trip to Atlantis...check out atlantis.com, it looks amazing. i'll be sure to take lots of pictures and put them on facebook :) there's also a good chance i'll be going on a j-term (a term in between fall and spring semester thats only in january) trip to turkey/bulgaria/romania/greece. it counts as an econ credit too, so that's pretty exciting.

i can't wait to come home!

so it's almost the last week of j-term, thank god. its the most boring term ever. there's nothing going on because people are either a. lazy, b. in a different country, or c. drunk every night. the last one is just stupid.

last week we started talking about food and nutrition in my class for a day, and i found it really interesting. i wonder if carthage offers and actual class on that. i would take it. i'm trying to be a lot healthier lately. working out every day, eating right, stuff like that. and i've been doing pretty good with that. it feels great. i have more energy, and am overall happier. i found this nifty little website called fitday.com. you can put in all the food you ate for a day, and it counts the calories for you and everything. and there's a section for goals, exercise, and if you're getting enough of certain nutrients. it's really helpful!

well unfortunately, i have to finish my project for tomorrow. boo that.

god damn people suck. whatever. i just don't care anymore.

today me and amanda are getting our hair done. i'm excited. i like changing my hair. i don't know what color to do mine though. good thing she's going first. anyways...i think i should quit my job. i'm not going to have time once volleybally actually starts...ugh i don't know. it's nice to have money still coming in though.

and i almost forgot!
so thank you darling.

but honestly...i think i should start writing in here more. i can say things that are bothering me without people getting all defensive (if they even notice). i'm really not making any sense to anybody unless you already know what i'm talking about which at the moment is probably only manda...
for the sake of not saying names, i shall call her sally. don't ask...
once upon a time,in third grade, i met a girl named sally and we became good friends. oh fuck it i'll skip the story.
basically, i wish she wasn't being how she's being to me right now. i miss her, but it's not fair. i'm tired of it. it's really getting rediculous. i know i shouldn't let it bother me but it does. i guess that's what happens when you've been friends with someone for so long and they just...forget about you. i'm not sure if she even notices she's doing it. but whatever.

god dammit!
i just made a complete fool of myself. why did i do that? why? why couldn't i have just been patient? no, i had to go find out for myself and fucking ruin everything. i'm such an idiot.

but god, do i like him...

i feel like a loser with no life.

i was supposed to be at the football game today. but my parents said no. then i was supposed to go visit matt at dunkin doughnuts. but a no to that too. boo.

i'm not so good at making real updates. so i'll do one of those dear you things.

dear you: i wish i could have some wonderful words of wisdom for you, but i don't. i'm sorry. all i can say is that you have my deepest sympathy. and if you ever want me to kick his ass, i will.

dear you: oh god what can i say. i don't know what i would do without you.

dear you: i wish i was as smart as you.

dear you: oh god...you confuse me kind of. i'm usually good at reading people, but with you, it's a different story. i think i like you, and that maybe i might have a chance, but then sometimes i get a different impression. i wish i knew what you thought of me.

dear you: have you made a decision yet? lol

dear you: i hate you. you are the meanest person i've ever met. i hate the way you walk. you're such a bitch...seriously...just calm the fuck down.

ok so i'm online right, whoring out myspace, and i get a message from a certain person that i don't ever want to talk to ever again. completely out of the blue. talk about wierd. anyways, here it is so take a look.

Cubster1931: hey sarah, you there?
sarbear2138: yes
Cubster1931: hey, howve you been?
sarbear2138: just dandy
sarbear2138: you?
Cubster1931: thats good to hear, ive been alright
sarbear2138: thats good
Cubster1931: I just wanted to let you know im really sorry about what i did to you. i was a jerk
Cubster1931: and im sorry
sarbear2138: ok
sarbear2138: this was a random time...
Cubster1931: im a random guy
sarbear2138: true
Cubster1931: just took me a while to realise what i did. And im sorry.
Cubster1931: i gotta get going
Cubster1931: i guess ill talk to you later
Cubster1931 signed off at 9:15:30 AM.

at least he has a conscience.

let me revise that. its not october 1st, its september 30th. its a friday. i am ditching school and volleyball. i will go. i'm on a mission!

YES!!!!
Motion City Soundtrack, October 1st, 6:30 pm at the Aragon Theater in Chicago. I WILL BE THERE. NO MATTER WHAT. FUCK VOLLEYBALL!!!!

so today was pretty damn sweet if you ask me.

we went to the art institute today. oh man. it was amazing. there was so much! i've never been there before so i was pretty much overwhelmed. there was a whole room filled with picasso, another room with monet, and another room with georgia o'keefe. i pretty much love them. but there was only one salvador dali which was kind of dissappointing because i love his stuff. and we got so see american gothic! i really don't see why everybody loves that one so much though. i mean when i saw it, it was encircled by a bunch of people and i was like "wtf?". anyways...i also got to see that one huge one by georges seurat of the people in the park done in all dots. aka the one in ferris bueller's day off. it was beautiful. i wish i could have spent more time there, but you can only walk around in that place for so long...i shall go back another time. anyone want to come?

1. Who are you, what's our relationship?
2. How long have you known me?
3. Tell me one thing you think is good about me?
4. When you first saw me, what was your impression?
5. Have you ever had a crush on me?
6. Describe me in 3 words?
7. Do you think I'm hott?
8. How would you describe me to someone?
9. Would you ever date me? If you have would u do it again?
10. What do you like most about me?
11. If we could spend a day together what would we do?
12. Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?
13. What reminds you of me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Are you going to put this on your xanga and see what I say about you?
16. Do I cross your mind at least once a day?

so conditioning today was pleasantly easy. larry is getting soft. but that's ok...but no fair jacobs doesn't have conditioning! lucky bitches....

hokay so anyways...i dunno. i'm going to woodfield tomorrow. yay.

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Sarah Starling
Birth date: November 26, 1988
Birth place: in illinois somewhere, i don't remember...i was adopted you see
Current Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
Hair Color: Brunettes rock
Righty or Lefty: Right

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: SWEDISH PRIDE!!! French, German, Italian, English, and Welsh
Shoes you wore today: Flip-flops, then my cute new shoes.
Your weakness: chocolate...and ice cream and cookies.
Your fears: oh god, losing friends/loved ones, deep water, getting emotionally hurt, clowns...
Your perfect pizza: Uno's has the best pizza ever
Goal you'd like to achieve: Get into an art school.

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your most overused phrase on AIM/MSN: lol, omg, brb
Your thoughts first waking up: oh shit is today monday?
Your best physical feature: ummm idk you tell me
Your bedtime: in the summer, usually midnight...during school like 10ish
Your most missed memory: oh man...there's too many to count! ha the one that stands out the most is in 8th grade when adam was drawing a picture of a very well-endowed elephant, and mr. ary was like, "adam, bring that here..." lmao gt's, gt's...

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: i don't drink pop...DUR
McDonald's or Burger King: the bk lounge...
Single or group dates: it depends...
Adidas or Nike: both
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or vanilla: um hello...do you know who ur asking here? CHOCOLATE!!!!
VanillaCappuccino or coffee: neither.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: i'll never EVER do that.
Cuss: fuck no...
Single: yep
Take a shower: of course
Have a crush: i don't think so...
Think you've been in love: nope
Like high school: it depends on my mood.
Want to get married: eventually
Get motion sickness: no
Think you're attractive: um...i don't want to sound concieted...i guess?
Think you're a health freak: ha no
Get along with your parents: most of the time
Like thunderstorms: thunderstorms are the greatest effing thing ever.

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: nope
Gone on a date: no
Gone to the mall: yeah
Been on stage: ynope
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: not an entire box...
Eaten sushi: ew
Been dumped: nope
Gone skating: nope
Gone skinny dipping: oh yes all the time...ha ha
Stolen anything: nope.

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a game that required removal of clothing: nope
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope
Been caught "doing something": nope
Been called a tease: yeah
Gotten beaten up: nope

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: 24ish..
Number of Children: 2 or 3
How do you want to die: a painless death please,
What do you want to be when you grow up: an artist! or i want to own my own record company or store.

LAYER NINE: IN THE OPPOSITE SEX
Best eye color?: it doesn't matter
Best hair color?: preferably browm
Short or long hair: eh...not short...but not too long...
Height: tallish
Best first date location: a place where we can have fun and be ourselves
Best first kiss location: somewhere cozy

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people I could trust with my life: do ur parents count? well, not counting my parents...i think 2
Number of CD's I own: over 80
Number of piercings: 2...one in each ear
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper: i have no idea...it was in there recently though.
Number of scars on my body: oh god...me and my scars...well, i have 5 on my left arm alone, a bunch on my knees and a huge one on my back...there's just too many to count.

today is saturday. that means...VOLLEYBALL CAR WASH!!!!! it's at the huntley banking center at 12:15 to 4 or 5 so everybody come!!!

anyways....yesterday was fun. i went to my aunt's house with my mom and then we went to my cousin's house. and we had lunch at uno's. omg yum! and me and my cousin got this really really good dessert thing. it was a giant chocolate chip cookie in a pan and it was warm and it had a scoop of ice cream and whipped cream and hot fudge on top....omg i thought i died and went to heaven. it was so good. and we went to krispy kreme and got doughnuts. so whatever weight i lost this week at camp, it's all back now. then matt came over and we watched the world championship eating contest. this little asian girl broke a world record for eating 10lbs of spaghetti, and then another little asian guy beat her by eating 13lbs, 8oz. of spaghetti. jeeze. and then he kicked my ass in ping-pong. but i DID learn how to put spin on the ball. yay me.

i'm extremely tired. i'm gonna die when school starts. there's no way i'm gonna be able to get up before 6. ugh.

i don't even know why i'm updating this becuase nobody reads it anyways becuase i am a loser. but that's ok.

i don't want school to start. i'm not looking forward to volleyball. well i am, just not the conditioning part. i mean, i like to play and i love my team, but just conditioning...ugh. and there's a lot of pressure put on you. and i need a job. i'm thinking that i might not be able to do vball next year becuase i need money really bad. especially because our income got cut in half becuase both my parents got laid off and are making about half of what they used to make. so therefore, i need a job so i can support myself. i would very much like to work at michael's because i buy a lot of stuff there. and it would be fun. i better get working on that application soon. in like...5 minutes.
but i really really really don't want school to start. ok, we still have like a month, but it's gonna go by fast. there's not enough time in the world. everything always feels so rushed. i think everybody should just slow down..

this is my last free week which sucks majorly. and my little cousin is coming over tomorrow and she's staying for the WHOLE ENTIRE WEEKEND. god help me. i'm gonna go insane. she's annoying. why can't i have a cousin who's my age? all my cousins are either way younger than me, or way older. the closest one to my age is about 11. blah. i don't like hanging out with 11-year-olds.

ok i'm done ranting. time to work on my application.

u of i was so fun!!!!! we had the hottest coach for one of our sessions. oh my god was he gorgeous. most definitely bangable. i would go into extreme detail, but i don't feel like typing becuase i want to get back to reading harry potter!!!!!

eh...i'm getting sick again. i always have the most perfect timing. yea right.
but i can't wait till thursday!! and tomorrow becuase i get to see kelly!! yes!! i still don't know where we are going but thats ok.

today was ok i guess. i had went to an art fair...saw some cool stuff and got ideas. i've decided that i need texture. lots and lots of texture. otherwise, my painting will look like a flat sheet of blah. so texture will make it appealing to the eye. tee hee i sound like an art teacher. maybe that's becuase i was talking to mrs. norris all day yesterday...she talks alot. but i made 30 bucks painting a room in her house so yay for me. i now have enough money to buy the shoes that i've been wanting. but alas, i have to pay for gas. so that 30 bucks is just enough to fill the tank almost all the way. stupid suv. but i love it anyways.

only 3 more days till i leave for u of i. i can't wait! i need to get out of lith/huntley. 4 days (almost) with no nagging from the parentals, hanging out with care, and volleyball. hopefully care and i don't get sick of eachother! nah...that won't happen. eh but my knee was bothering me today. a lot. i think it was from all the kneeling yesterday. i hope it doesn't bother me at camp. that would be bad. just when i thought it was completely better, it goes and gets bad again. stupid knee. i hate you.